


The AU Where They Actually Talk About Their Feelings

by KittyKatGeorgie



Category: Captain Underpants Series - Dav Pilkey, The Epic Tales of Captain Underpants (Cartoon)
Genre: First Kiss, M/M, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-20
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-08 23:02:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19877518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittyKatGeorgie/pseuds/KittyKatGeorgie
Summary: A series of short stories following the idea that George and Melvin actually talk everything out and Gelvin remains canon





	1. Apologies

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for season 3

“Man, she’s like a ninja.”

“A really confident ninja.” Harold laughed, laying back with his arms folded behind his head. “Hey, you know what would be perfect for a campfire right now?”

“Marshmallows!” George grinned.

“Mm, yeah!” Harold hummed.

“Good thing I snuck some in my bag! Wait right here.” George stood up and ran towards the cabins.

“Woo George!” Harold cheered. 

George laughed and carefully pushed the door open when he reached the cabins. He made sure to not make any noise as he snuck over to his bag and started digging through it. He froze when he heard something from the top bunk: someone crying.

“Melvin?” George spoke, poking his head up above the top bed. “Are you… crying?”

“No!” Melvin lied, sniffing and rubbing at his face. “Go away! Why would you care anyway!”

“Uh, because we’re friends?” George said. He folded his arms on the edge of the mattress and hung off the side.

“Oh, are we?” Melvin snapped, folding his arms and facing away from George.

“Well, I thought we were. We made a comic together!”

“Oh, quit the act, Beard. I heard you talking to Harold. I know about your plan; you were just using me to get back on the same side of the fence as him. You “couldn’t believe you made a comic with me.””

George winced. “Melvin, I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just- y’know,  _ you _ , of all people, I’m shocked I  _ enjoyed making  _ a comic with.” Melvin eyed him, but didn’t fully turn around. “Your comic-making skills are actually pretty good! I… I had fun.”

Melvin’s face softened just a bit as he looked at George. “But- but you were just pretending to fight with Harold to get put on the same side. We were just… pawns.”

“Well I wouldn’t put it like  _ that _ .” George pulled himself up to sit on the edge of the bunk bed. “I mean, yeah we were  _ trying  _ to trick Krupp, but it wasn’t anything personal against you or the others. And I really did have fun working with you!” He giggled. “I like how you draw Captain Underpants!”

Melvin was very grateful it was dark so George couldn’t see his face. “You do…?”

“Yeah! It’s cool. And different! I like different.” George smiled shyly and scratched the back of his head. “And I’m sorry I was acting weird all day. I guess I just wasn’t used to you being so… friendly.”

“Weird? What do you mean, acting weird?”

“I mean…” George frowned in confusion. “I kept acting weirded out when you were being nice. I tried shoving you away when we were planning the attack?”

There was a long silence, punctuated by a loud  _ SMACK!  _ as Melvin slapped his forehead. “Stupid!  _ I’m  _ sorry, I didn’t even notice you were uncomfortable! Ugh, I was so excited to actually have a friend, I was too distracted to realize I was messing it up! I-I’ve never had a… “friend” before.”

“Yeesh. Well… I’ll be your friend!” George smiled, patting Melvin’s back. Melvin tensed up under the contact and covered his cheeks with both hands, eyes darting around the cabin.

“...you will?” He asked timidly.

“Yeah!” George smiled. Slowly, Melvin smiled back.

“...do we- is this when we hug, or-?” Melvin scratched the side of his face nervously. “I mean we don’t have to, I just- I think that’s a thing fr-friends do, right?” George laughed and leaned over to hug the other boy. Melvin whimpered slightly, gripping George’s shirt and burying his face in his shoulder.

“...Melvin, are you crying again?”

“NO!”


	2. Deal

Harold sighed, tapping on the wooden sides of his bunk bed in a random rhythm. He was nearly bored out of his skull, which wasn’t what summer camp was supposed to be like. It was  _ supposed  _ to be him and George all day every day, having fun and pulling pranks. But right now it seemed more like George and  _ Melvin _ , while Harold got to sit around in the cabin being the third wheel.

He thought that when George said Melvin was gonna be their friend now that  _ Melvin  _ would be the third wheel. After all, it had been  _ George and Harold  _ since kindergarten, not George and Melvin.

Harold rolled over to face the underside of the top bunk and shook his head. No, that wasn’t fair to George, was it? He was allowed to have other friends. They both were. Just so what George was the first one to actually find a friend he wanted to hang out with alone?

...then again, it had been awhile. Maybe he should go get him-  _ no!  _ Harold flopped back down onto the bed he had gotten up from. He grabbed the sorry excuse for a pillow they had been given and groaned into it. This was torture! Harold tried desperately to calm himself down. After all, it wasn’t like they were gonna get  _ together,  _ despite Harold harboring a secret crush on George for years that he had been too much of a coward to actually tell him about.

…

That wouldn’t happen, right? They were just friends, right?

* * *

George giggled as Melvin dramatically read the comic aloud, sometimes going as far as to stand up and gesture like the characters in the story. As much as George enjoyed reading and performing his own stories, watching and listening to Melvin read them was a brand new experience that he absolutely adored. Maybe it was why Harold loved when George read to him.

George laughed again and clapped when Melvin ended his performance with a dramatic bow. “You’re really good at performing, Melvin!”

Melvin blushed and grinned, scratching the back of his head. “Ah, well. Theater is such an important part of literature. It would be silly of me  _ not  _ to partake from time to time… although I must say, I’ve never performed a story so… well…  _ immature. _ ” He flipped through the pages of the comic. “It’s rather, ah… challenging.”

“Admit it, you like poop and fart jokes just as much as the rest of us.” George snickered, sitting back against the wall with his arms behind his head. He crossed his legs, setting one on top of the other.

“I never said that!” Melvin’s face burned, and he shoved the comic in the drawer beside his bed before sitting down next to George. “I’ve never… considered doing art like this before. It’s fun.”

“Haha! Told ya!” George grinned. Melvin rolled his eyes and stared at his lap, fidgeting ever so slightly. He looked over at George, who was stretching, and his eyes focused on George’s stomach that was visible when his shirt lifted. Melvin’s face burned hotter and he quickly looked the other way when George started to move.

“I should probably go, before it gets too late-”

“George I was lying.”

“...lying?” George gave him a confused look. “About what?”

“Wh-when I said- when I said that the reason I didn’t notice you were uncomfortable that first day, was that I was distracted by having a friend. I was distracted because-” Melvin gagged a bit, trying to form the words. “Because I liii-  _ hack!  _ I li-i-ike!” He squeezed the sides of his head desperately. “Ah, why is this so hard! Iiiii-” When Melvin hesitated again, George slapped his back to try and help. “I like you!”

Melvin immediately lit up red and slapped his hands over his mouth. He stared at the stain on his bedsheet just in front of his lap, far too terrified to dare looking up. For far too long, there was silence, and Melvin couldn’t help the tears that started going down his cheeks, from the fear that he had likely just messed up the first real friend he’s ever had, forever.

Despite the silence that filled the room, there was a full-on battle going on inside George’s mind. A battle between the fact that this was  _ Melvin Sneedly,  _ a boy who he had known to be quite manipulative when he wanted to, who he’d had a sworn enemyship with for years, ever since George first showed up in Jerome Horowitz (subjecting a 5-year-old ADHD kid with behavioral management problems to ten minutes of bragging and boasting did not end with a pretty picture)

And then… the undeniable feeling in George’s gut that… Melvin wasn’t being manipulative this time. He wasn’t after some bigger, unforeseen prize that would leave George and Harold to have to clean up after the mess. He also couldn’t just ignore the something that had been wiggling in his stomach ever since they started hanging out. There were feelings there too, he was sure. And he couldn’t exactly sit there and do nothing.

And  _ then _ , George was never very good at analyzing his actions before they happened.

Before George could even realize what  _ exactly  _ what he was doing, he grabbed Melvin’s face and turned it towards him-

Only to smash their noses together when they got close.

“Ow!” Melvin snapped, pulling back and rubbing at his nose. “What was that!”

“I-I-I’m so sorry!” George fumbled, red and confused at what just happened. “I-I’ve never done this before and I don’t know what I’m doing and when I don’t know what I’m doing I just go really fast-”

“It’s alright, you’re fine.” Melvin pulled his hand away and looked it over. “No blood; it’s fine.”

George gripped his feet and rocked back and forth for a minute, avoiding looking at Melvin. “Can I… try that again?”

“Yes, just don’t break my nose, you used bandage.”

George nodded and-  _ slowly _ , this time- turned Melvin’s face towards his own and pulled him closer. He froze when they were almost an inch away. His heart felt like it was going to leap out of his chest at any moment, and his face felt like he had dipped it in the lava river in the Doom Dome, and was he  _ sure  _ he wasn’t somehow secretly related to Sweaty Stanley?

Apparently he had been frozen for too long, because Melvin rolled his eyes in irritation. “Typical George, you never finish anything.  _ Here,  _ I’ll do it.”

Melvin closed the gap, smooshing their mouths together. It was awkward, and weird, and clearly neither of them had any idea what they were doing, but  _ wow. Holy cow, wow.  _ George could get lost in this. In fact, he quickly was.

Eventually it smoothed out as they figured out what to do, and it certainly felt a lot nicer, and George felt like an icicle had dropped into his stomach when he pulled apart. They ended up staring at each other for a solid 10 seconds- long enough for George to realize he had never  _ really  _ made eye contact with Melvin, and long enough to notice that his eyes were mismatched too: green and blue- before Melvin seemed to almost shut down and fall backwards onto the bed with his arms spread out.

George followed his lead, leading back against the front of the bed, staring into nothing. Melvin, meanwhile, stared at the bed above them, his mouth moving to form words that George couldn’t hear, and wasn’t sure if he would even be able to focus on well enough to process if he  _ could  _ hear them.

“...I kissed George Beard.” Melvin finally broke the silence. He said it as if he was recording information for a science experiment. “I kissed George Beard, and it wasn’t awful. In fact, it was…  _ pleasant. _ ” George realized, after a minute, that that was exactly what Melvin was doing. Minus a recorder. “More research is needed, though, before I can come to a conclusion.”

George sat bolt upright, now staring at Melvin, who was still gazing upwards. He hadn’t moved. “You wanna do it again?”

Melvin’s eyes moved to look at George. “Don’t you?”

It felt, again, like something wet and slimy was squirming around inside George’s stomach. “Yeah. Yes. I-I do. ...does this mean we’re boyfriends?”

Melvin frowned a bit. “I don’t know. Does it? I’m not particularly skilled at… relationships. Is there any paperwork we need to fill out, or something?”

“No!” George snorted, wrapping his arms around his knees. “You just kinda… say it, I guess.  _ Declare  _ it.”

Melvin nodded. “Alright.” He sat up, holding out a hand for George.

“...what are you doing?”

“Declaring it,” Melvin said as though it were obvious. “We, George Beard and Melvin Sneedly, are officially in a romantic relationship.”

George smiled a bit, rolled his eyes, and shook Melvin’s hand. “Deal.”


	3. Dream Camp

George sighed, looking around at the cabin they and the rest of the campers were in. Everyone else was happily doing arts and crafts but, despite his creativity, George was quickly growing bored.

“Arts and crafts are cool, but not as cool as any of the camp stuff from our dreams,” he said, standing up. They heard grunting from outside the open door and saw Melvin running in, surrounded by bugs and robotic arms.

“Oh no, Melvin!” Harold gasped. “You’re being attacked from a robo-land squid!”

“We’ll save you!” George cried as him as Harold ran towards the creature. They were both slapped backwards towards the craft tables.

“No, you slow leaks!” Melvin rolled his eyes. “This is the SwapHappy2000. It swaps bugs away.” Harold rubbed the back of his head, looking at Melvin in confusion. “That’s a combination of “swat” and “zap.”” He looked at a bug as one of the hands swapped it. “Swap! Copyright Sneedworks.”

“Why don’t you just use bug spray?” Harold asked.

“Because I’m not a caveman.” Melvin glared.

“Right. Well hey, it is kinda cool!” George smiled. 

Melvin’s cheeks tinted pink and he held out a (normal) hand to help George up. “Thanks.” He looked at George’s wrist- specifically, the pink, purple, and blue bracelet around it. “I like your bracelet.”

“Thanks!” George grinned. “I made you a matching one!” He grabbed an identical bracelet from the crafts table and tied it around Melvin’s wrist. He blushed, looking at it and then smiling at George.

“Oh, my glue gun is finally hot!” He went over to the table. “Now I can make arts and crafts worthwhile with my paper mâché particle accelerator.” A bug landed on top of the glue gun. “Oh no. A bug landed on the-”

The glue shot into Melvin’s face, making him scream “Hot glue!” and which led into a series of accidents that landed him in the lake covered in trash. “Ugh! Algae!”

“Woah, a Melvin sea monster?” Harold said from the shore, where him and George were sitting and eating popcorn. “That’s my worst nightmare.”

“Mine too. You thinking what I’m thinking?”

“That we should sleep with our eyes open from now on?”

“Yes. And arts and crafts comic!” Him and Harold pulled out their comic supplies, before George smiled sheepishly and got up to help Melvin out of the lake. “You don’t mind if we still make you the villain sometimes, right Melvin? It’s all in good fun, I promise.”

Melvin sighed, pulling the algae off his body. “I guess not.” George giggled and picked some of the algae out of Melvin’s hair. “...can I help?”

“Sure!” Harold smiled.

* * *

After being locked in the arts and crafts cabin, even with the threat of being inside forever, George was still becoming bored with the project. He especially didn’t want to be stuck inside making 2000 whatevers. The problem was, the other team was quickly winning! Melvin’s team or not, George was  _ not  _ letting them win.

“Can you go over these again?” George asked Dressy for what must have been the fifth time. They were doing a great job slowly her down and distracting her.

“And with more unnecessary words?” Harold added.

“Stop undermining my ringer, you extra toes.” Melvin glared, walking over to the table. “It’s not going to work. We’re getting out of this momento mill and leaving you in our DIY dust! Nothing personal, dearest. Now unhand that dream catcher!”

“Make us.” George held on tight to the dream catcher, and Harold grabbed on too.

“Fine,” Melvin said. “Prepare for maximum swap!”

He turned the HappySwap2000 all the way up and had all six hands grab onto the dream catcher. They waved around wildly until it ended up turning into a swirling vortex above them.

“Oh no. Too much swap.” Melvin gulped nervously.

“You lunatic!” Harold cried, clinging to the table. “You’ve swapped us all!”

The kids screamed as they were all pulled into the vortex, which quickly closed behind them.

They landed in a world colored with crayon. It looked similar to the camp they had left, only better.

“What just happened?” George asked. “Where are we?”

“What have we done?” Melvin yelped.

“You opened a portal to the dream dimension, and it pulled us in!” Dressy said as she started floating. “ _ Puuulled! _ ”

“It’s not real!” Melvin panicked. “Wake up, wake up!”

He began slapping his face until George grabbed his hands. “Melvin! You’re gonna hurt yourself.” He looked around, pulling Melvin along by the hand over to a sign that Harold was looking at. ““Welcome to the dream dimension, where dreams are reality”?”

Harold watched a small purple penguin walk past. “Pinches?”

“You know that guy?” George asked.

“Yeah, it’s Pinches the Purple Penguin!” Harold smiled as Pinches approached him. “He was my imaginary friend awhile back.”

“You got change for a ten?” Pinches asked gruffly.

“All I got is a twenty.” Harold held it up.

“Deal!” Pinches swiped the bill and hurried off.

“Same old Pinches.”

“Woah, it’s my dream hovercraft!” George exclaimed as it floated over.

“Everything here is from both of your dreams,” Dressy explained. “Because you were  _ both  _ holding the dream catcher that got swapped.  _ Swa-ha-apped! _ ”

“So it’s all good dream stuff?” Harold asked.

“So far, but nothing’s a lock here,” Dressy said. “Some things happen for a reason. Others just happen. Dreams have a  _ lot _ of wiggle room.  _ Wi-hi-hi-gle room! _ ”

“How do you know all this?”

“I took a dream class.”

“So we can do whatever we want here!” George gasped excitedly and turned to the boy next to him. “Melvin, I have a great idea! We can do a bunch of stuff together, like little mini-dates! Honestly, I don’t really know what you like doing besides inventing.”

“That’s actually a good idea.” Melvin held his chin in thought. “I don’t know what  _ you  _ like doing, besides making comics.”

“Oh.” Harold frowned a bit, pressing his fingers together. “But I thought  _ we  _ were gonna hang out. It’s our dream camp, George!”

“Yeah, but we have plenty of time.” George shrugged. “You can do whatever you want, too! We’ll just be a little while, promise.”

“Ok…"

“And I have the perfect idea for what to do first!” Melvin grabbed George’s hand and they ran off.

“Mm…” Harold looked around, thinking of what he could do first without George.

* * *

“Swimming?!” George grinned as they approached the lake. “Melvin, you’re awesome!” He dreamed up his swimsuit and was about to run into the water when Melvin grabbed his wrist.

“Not swimming!” He sighed. “With all the antics you and Harold get up to, I never get a chance to just relax. I just wanted to lay on the beach for awhile and have lunch, while it’s  _ quiet? _ ”

“Oh…” George frowned a bit. “Uh- sure, relaxing! I can do that! Here, I can get us some beach chairs too!”

Two beach chairs appeared in front of them, along with a cooler filled with sandwiches and soda. Melvin smiled.

“And maybe an umbrella too? For shade. And maybe a copy of Shakespeare’s “Macbeth.””

“Isn’t the point of the beach to be  _ in  _ the sun?” George asked.

“I burn easily.” Mevin rubbed his arm. George shrugged and an umbrella appeared beside one of the chairs. A second later, Melvin was holding a copy of Macbeth. He grinned and hugged George. “Thank you, dearest!”

“Heh, yeah…” George smiled nervously before sitting down in the chair beside Melvin. 

Melvin opened his book and began to read, while George looked around. He tapped his hands on his legs, thinking of what he could do that was quiet. He wasn’t very good at quiet, or relaxing, both being things that made his ADHD want to scream and throw itself off a cliff. But Melvin wanted it quiet, and this was  _ his  _ date idea, so he’d have to be quiet.

He looked over at the other kids, all of whom were having fun, running around and yelling. He sighed internally, setting his chin on top of his knees. Boy, that looked like a lot of fun.

Ugh, how long did it take to read a book…?

* * *

Harold nervously approached Erica and Gooch, who were playing cards on their cabin porch. “Hey guys. Whatcha doing?”

“Playing cards. Want me to deal you in?” Erica asked as she shuffled the deck.

“Sure, I guess.” Harold sat down with them, setting his head in his hands.

“Where’s George?” Erica asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Him and Melvin are doing stuff together,” Harold answered glumly.

“Aw, and you got stuck being third wheel.” Gooch put a hand on his head and looked at Harold sympathetically.

“Apparently.” Harold huffed. “Doing anything without George just feels so wrong.”

“Better get used to it,” Erica said. “Him and Melvin are going to do stuff by themselves. They’re dating now. Thank god, because it finally gets Melvin off my back. But that means that this,” she gestured at Harold, “is gonna be happening a lot more often.”

Harold looked kind of queasy. Doing  _ more  _ stuff without George? That just felt even  _ more  _ wrong. Aw, why did him and Melvin have to be together?

He looked down when a card landed in front of him.

“The game’s Uno,” Erica said as she dealt.

* * *

“Alright! Finally, it’s my turn to pick the date!” George cheered. “Ultimate extreme skateboarding!!”

Him and Melvin were standing at the top of a giant skate ramp, and looking down at what must have been the most dangerous skatepark ever- if either of them could get hurt. Even still, Melvin was terrified. He whimpered, folding his arms together in front of his chest as he peered over the edge of the ramp. He was wearing a padded helmet, knee and elbow pads, and a crash pad over his torso.

“Skateboarding? Do I have to?” He asked nervously.

“Hey, I did your thing. I think it’s only fair that you try mine.” George gestured out at the park.

“I-I don’t even know how to skateboard!”

“It’s easy! Here, watch.” George stepped onto his skateboard and sped down the ramp, cheering as he rode. He flew up at the bottom and did a few extreme flips before landing on the platform at the bottom of the ramp. He grinned and looked up at Melvin, holding his arms out wide. “Now you try!”

Melvin moaned fearfully and put one foot on his skateboard, pushing it back and forth a little. He stood on it, then yelped and clung to it when it started moving towards the edge of the platform. “Oh no. No no no-!” He screamed as the skateboard dropped off onto the ramp and sped down.

“Melvin, you have to control it!” George yelled. Melvin ignored him, or couldn’t hear him over his own screaming, and the skateboard shot into the air when it reached the end of the ramp.

“Mommy!!” He sobbed, still clinging to the skateboard as it began to fall. He landed flat on his back at the bottom of the ramp, and his skateboard slowly rolled down and stopped next to him. George rode down and skidded to a halt on his own board kicked it up before holding a hand out for Melvin.

“I told you, I don’t know how to skateboard,” Melvin said.

“Alright, alright. I’ll show you the ropes, ok? But I don’t wanna let this place go to waste, I’ve never seen a skatepark this big!”

“You made it,” Melvin mumbled.

* * *

Melvin sighed, pulling off the last piece of protective gear while he sat on the edge at the bottom of one of the ramps. For how much he had fallen, he was still unbruised- of course he was, it was a dream world- but still shaken, nonetheless. “Alright. Now that we’re not at risk of breaking our necks-”

“We never were-”

“-it’s  _ my  _ turn to pick the activity. And I pick the library!”

“The library?” George groaned. “Wasn’t your last thing “relaxing”?”

“This isn’t  _ relaxing _ , you unscented candle.”

“Still doing the insults?” George raised an eyebrow and folded his arms.

“Yes, but lovingly.” Melvin patted George’s arm.

“Yeah, that one was pretty tame. Ok, if it’s not relaxing, what is it?”

“Reading!” Melvin grinned, holding George’s arm. “Doing something together that’s nice, and quiet, and doesn’t have a chance of getting us both killed.”

“Again, we weren’t actually in danger-”

“Oh, whatever! I still choose library.”

George sighed and dreamed up the Piqua library in front of them. Melvin grinned and happily pulled George inside behind him. Now don’t it wrong, George liked reading. But this was a dream world, where they could do anything imaginable, and Melvin was only picking normal things that they could do in the real world. Plus, if he sat and read for too long, his head started to hurt, and he usually liked listening to music while he did.

And while it was nice watching Melvin be cute and run around the library excitedly, going on and on about all the books he had to himself, George was itching to  _ move  _ the entire time, and do something exciting.

“Alright!” Melvin set a stack of thick books on the table George was sitting at. “I’ve narrowed it down to these ten. If I’m only reading one book, it’s one of these. Which one do you think I should read?”

“I dunno…” George tapped a book in the middle of the pile. “This one.”

“Ooh, good choice.” Melvin grabbed and opened it. “What are you going to read?”

“Ah, I… haven’t looked yet.” George blushed. “I got distracted watching you.” He smiled sheepishly. “You’re cute when you’re excited.”

Melvin turned red. “I am not cute.” He looked away as George laughed. “...you know, the library has a comic section.”

“They do?!” George exclaimed, and jumped out of his seat to go find it.

* * *

Harold sighed as he wandered through the woods. George and Melvin were still busy, and Harold was running out of things to do. He flopped back on a rock in the middle of a clearing, and he didn’t even laugh when it deflated.

“I miss George,” he said to himself. “Nothing’s as fun without him! Stupid Melvin, hogging all his attention. I want my best friend back.”

“Hey!” He jumped when a voice answered him, and Pinches the Purple Penguin appeared beside him. “You wanna get your friend back?”

“Yeah? I just said that.” Harold frowned.

“I can get him back,” Pinches said. “But first, you got change for a ten?”

“I still only have a twenty,” Harold replied, pulling it out.

“Deal!” Pinches snatched it and started waddling away.

“Hey! What about getting George back!” Harold cried.

“Ah, it’s easy. Just break them up!”

“What! I can’t do that!”

“Then you gotta win him over! Make hanging out with you seem more exciting.”

“I paid twenty bucks for that?” Harold asked as Pinches left. He groaned and leaned back in the rock seat. What was something he could do that would make George want to join? He sat up with an idea and grinned.

* * *

“Ugh, I have a headache,” George complained as they left the library and it disappeared behind them.

“We were only in there for two hours.” Melvin rolled his eyes.

“You try reading when everything gets scrambled.” George glared. Melvin blinked in surprise as George walked off away from camp.

“I didn’t know you were dyslexic,” Melvin said, hurrying after him. George held his chin in thought as he looked around the area. Melvin walked behind him, raising an eyebrow. “What are you looking for?”

“The right area. I have an idea for what I want to do, but I need an open space.” George hummed a bit, and grinned when they found what he was looking for. “Perfect! And now…”

Melvin’s jaw dropped when a giant playing board, filled with accessories and real pop-ups, appeared before them. A playing board he recognized. “ _ You _ play Dolomites and Dingbats?”

“Yeah! Me and Harold love it!” George grinned and dreamed up the costume for his character. “I figured you’d like it too. And I’ve always wanted to play in real life!”

“In real life?” Melvin looked down at his clothes, which were transformed into another costume. “You mean actually fighting the mon-” He screamed as a monster roared loudly in front of them, and he quickly hid behind George.

“Yeah!” George cheered, pumping his fists in the air. “We’re our own CM! CHAAAARGE!”

“Oh no,” Melvin squeaked as George ran towards the monster, pulling Melvin behind him.

* * *

Melvin panted when they finally finished the quest, and he doubled over as everything from the game disappeared. George cheered and jumped around.

“Alright! Wasn’t that awesome, Melvin?” He grinned.

“Ok, this isn’t working.” Melvin groaned. His entire body was burning from the exercise.

“Wh-what do you mean?” George frowned.

“I  _ mean  _ this!” Melvin gestured at where the board had been. “The way we’re doing this! I can’t handle all this over-the-top extraneous activity, and you clearly can’t stand doing anything that requires being quiet for a prolonged period of time.”

George fidgeted with his tie nervously. “This isn’t us breaking up, is it?”

“No, it’s not.” Melvin sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I don’t want to break up because of this. I like you. But we need to figure out a date that we can do together. Something that is exciting enough for you  _ and  _ takes into consideration the fact that I’m a coward who doesn’t like to move. Basically, we need to find something that satisfies both  _ your  _ overactive ADHD, and  _ my  _ quiet introverted autism.”

“Well, we can do that, right?” George asked hopefully.

“I’m sure we can; we’re Melvorge! Or Gelvin. You never picked.”

“Gelvin’s easier to say.”

“Gelvin it is then.” Melvin nodded and started to pace. “Now it might take some thinking, but-” They jumped as a loud roar came from the lake. Melvin hid behind George again. “I thought you got rid of all the monsters!"

“I did! That’s not me!” George frowned. They ran towards camp, where the Melviathan from George and Harold’s comic was rampaging.

“George!” Harold cried, running over.

“Harold? What happened!”

“I-I don’t know! I was thinking about our comics and suddenly he appeared!” Harold pointed at the monster.

“Sorry Melvin, date’s gonna have to wait! We gotta take care of this!”

* * *

Soon Captain Underpants defeated Melviathan, and George and Harold cheered.

“We did it, we won!” George grinned.

“That’s why we have to go home,” Harold said.

“Wha-?!”

“We’ll always win here, ‘cause this is our dream world.” Harold pulled out a bow and started shooting bullseyes. “So the wins don’t matter. The problem with this place is it’s all good. And good without bad isn’t good.”

“Yeah,” George agreed. “Without rain, you wouldn’t appreciate sunshine. Or dry socks.”

“And like, how Sophie One is bettar because of Other Sophie,” Jessica said.

“And sometimes, bad even makes good,” Harold continued.

“Right. Without school, we wouldn’t have Captain Underpants.” George smiled.

“Exactly. And that’s a Fact Smack!” Harold smiled, then his face softened. “So… we’re going back to the real world?”

“Actually…” George looked over at Melvin. “I had one more thing planned.”

“Aw, but-!”

“I promise, buddy, it’s just this one last thing.” George held Harold’s shoulders. “And we can’t really do it in the real world. But once we’re done, we’ll go back to the real world, and we can make comics and hang out all night. I know I’ve kinda been busy today, so we can do whatever you want when we get home.”

“...you mean it?” Harold smiled.

“Promise.” George smiled back. They quickly hugged before George pulled Melvin off to their final activity.

* * *

“Ok, and… open your eyes!”

Melvin, who had been covering his eyes, opened them and gasped. The two of them were back at the lake, only this time there were dolphins, and they were both in their swimming gear.

“Dolphins!” Melvin squealed and flapped his hands. “You dreamt up dolphins!”

“Yep! Swimming with dolphins!” George grinned. Melvin screamed excitedly and squeezed George in a hug before hurrying into the water. George laughed, following him as the dolphins squeaked and swam up to them. He smiled and watched as Melvin cooed at the animals and petted their beaks.

“I love you so much, even if you’re not as innocent as people believe you are,” Melvin cooed to them.

“What do you mean?” George asked, climbing onto one of the dolphins to ride it.

“You don’t want to know.” The dolphins playfully nudged Melvin and he laughed. He started bobbing around in the water as they pushed him, and George cheered as he rode around in the lake on his dolphin. After a few minutes, he swam over to Melvin and leaned forward on the dolphin, setting his head in his hands.

“So, was this perfect or what?” He asked.

“Absolutely.” Melvin was hugging one of the dolphins. “But… we can’t do this kind of thing all the time.”

“Mm, no.” George shrugged. “But it’s a good starting point to figuring out stuff we both like doing.” He grinned. “Plus you’re really cute.”

Melvin burned red. “I am  _ not. _ ”

“Agree to disagree.” George pulled Melvin up by the front of his vest to kiss him. “Now come on, let’s enjoy these dolphins and then give Harold a turn. He’s wanted to swim with dolphins since we met.”


End file.
